Pastor Khong: I Only Want to Be Able to Live My Life

Dear Pastor Khong,

I had chanced upon your latest status update and was pleasantly surprised when you had said that, “To anyone out there with homosexual orientations, I want to say: God loves you. The Bible (God’s Word) unequivocally calls me and my fellow Christians to love you unconditionally.” However, you continued to say that, “While we reject sin, we love and accept the sinner.” Though you showed honesty in saying how according to the Bible, “sexual sins, therefore, include heterosexual promiscuity, homosexuality, polygamy, paedophilia, beastiality and necrophilia,” and that you agreed that, “In God’s view, I suspect we are all sexual deviants.”

Previously, you had said that you were worried that the legal acknowledgment of homosexuals would lead to, “negative social changes, especially the breakdown of the family as a basic building block and foundation of the society. It takes away the rights of parents over what their children are taught in schools, especially sex education. It attacks religious freedom and eventually denies free speech to those who, because of their moral convictions, uphold a different view from that championed by increasingly aggressive homosexual activists.”

In your latest status update, you apologised for thinking so and said that, “I repent of rejecting, alienating, and condemning you because of my own fears or ignorance of or indifference to your struggle. On behalf of the Christian community, I ask you to forgive us for where we have consciously or unconsciously rejected you or condemned you. I commit myself and my church to do our best to come alongside you in your sexual struggle—while not condoning sexual sin, be it yours or mine.”

Thank you for your apology. I forgive you.


You go on to say that, “Having said all the above with genuine sincerity, please understand that, as concerned citizens of Singapore and as Christians, we are NOT against the homosexual person, but we are unapologetically against the homosexual agenda. And that makes a world of difference.”

According to you, “the homosexual agenda is a political movement. It is well-funded internationally”, and that it is a “well-thought out plan (which)… comes in five steps.”

Honestly, when you spoke about the “homosexual agenda”, I had sincerely wanted to find out more, because if there was indeed an homosexual agenda which I did not know of, which would be unfair to others, I will be the first one to speak out against in and to prevent this agenda from being practiced.

I read on about the five steps of the “homosexual agenda” that you speak of:
1. Decriminalization of homosexual acts or sodomy.
2. Equalization of age of consent for heterosexual sex and homosex.
3. Anti-discrimination laws e.g. pushing for equality in sex education to cover heterosexual sex and homosex
4. Same sex marriage or civil union
5. Homosexual parenthood and adoption rights


When I read the five steps you purport, I was slightly bemused and didn’t know how to react to it.

You see, Pastor Khong, I am gay. What you say is a ‘homosexual agenda’ is something that I live through everyday. One day when I find the person I love, I want to be able to marry the person, and live in a committed, healthy and supportive relationship with him. Pastor Khong, I do not have an agenda nor am I interested in imposing my life on others. I am also not interested in imposing my beliefs on others. You see, Pastor Khong, being gay is not a belief or a choice that I have decided to live with. I live with it because just like you are heterosexual and live your life along the way you know yourself, so do I live a life the way I know mine.

The truth is, I’ve always felt that for the heterosexual community, you have it much easier. I wouldn’t want anyone to have to go through the life I did. I had to grow up, facing discrimination in school and I had to learn to day in, day out, deal with it. Can you imagine how it had felt whenever I went on stage and I got booed down the stage? Can you imagine, how it had felt, for a teenager, who was only starting to learn what it was like growing up, having to be jeered at and ostracized, simply because he was gay? I know, because I had to grow up living with it. For me, it was very real.

Did I have a ‘homosexual agenda’? No, I don’t, Pastor Khong. I don’t. Because all this while, throughout my whole life, I just simply want to live my life, and I want to help the other gay people I know be able to live theirs, so that they are able to life their heads up and accept themselves for who they are. It isn’t easy living a life as a gay person, and why would anyone choose that? I do not want another person to go through what I had to go through. It’s painful.


When you speak about the ‘homosexual agenda’, you spoke about how society would then enact anti-discrimination laws and ensure that there is equality in sexuality education.

Pastor Khong, but this is precisely what we did – not because I am gay. There are many people who continue to be discriminated in society – women, people of other races, the elderly, migrants etc. We need anti-discrimination laws to protect our people and our workers from being discriminated, because there are others who do not believe in their way of life or their rights and have thus chosen to discriminate against them. I have friends of other races who are discriminated. What do I tell them when there are no laws to protect them from discrimination? I was discriminated as a child – what would you have told me when I was young when there were people who had discriminated against me? That I should accept it?

It was painful growing up, having to learn to cope with the pain and discrimination. For many teenagers, if they had been taught how to deal with the discrimination and hurt, they would learn to become stronger individuals. But like me, there were, and still are, many gay youths who learn to blame themselves for being gay – for something that is essentially who we are, just like being straight is who you are – and we learn not to accept ourselves and look down on ourselves. If we were taught in school how we needed to learn to respect ourselves and to accept ourselves, we will be able to walk with our heads high. I developed low self esteem which lasted me through all the way until my mid-20s. It was only in the past 4 to 5 years did I finally learnt how to regain belief of myself, and learnt to find the strength to go on living my life, and learning to live a life that I can be proud of.

You see, Pastor Khong, I understand that you have your fears, and I understand that you might not understand the life that I had to go through. And I understand, because you do not live my life, or perhaps understand the inner struggles that gay people have to go through.

Pastor Khong, I do not have an agenda. All I want to be able to do is to simply live my life, achieve happiness in my life and be able to live with the one I love, in happiness and commitment. That’s all I ask for, Pastor Khong. You have the love and marriage that you are able to fulfill with the one you love, similarly, I wish that I am able to do that too.

For a long time, I have been discriminated and learnt to deal with it even as I felt hurt from being marginalized. As I’m growing up and now that I’m an adult, I hope that I am able to settle down peacefully with someone whom I can call home with. However, I’m still being discriminated for living my life. I’m still told that I do not have a right to be recognized for the love that I wish I can grow old with. Pastor Khong, this means that I should continue to feel alone, and stay silent in my own loneliness. I look at the marriage that you have and I admire the joy that passion that others can grow within their marriage. Yet, I know it cannot be mine as I am told to accept the state of my life and be contended, because the rights that are yours shouldn’t be mine, because perhaps I’m not good enough for it.

It hurts, Pastor Khong. It hurts when I continue to reach out to others to help them but when I extend a hand for help, my hand is pushed away. It hurts when I see families go out together in gatherings, when they laugh and enjoy their time together as a whole family and I continue to be on my own, single and silent, wishing that I can have the joy that they can but knowing that I should not want it.

It hurts, Pastor Khong. And it’s painful. I’ve lived with this for a huge part of my life. Should I go on living the rest of my life in pain and anguish? I don’t have an agenda, Pastor Khong. I only want to live a peaceful life with someone that I can be committed in love with.

Which is why it hurts and sadden me when you say that I should, “rise above (my) own personal need and do not be party to this insidious conspiracy.” Pastor Khong, to me, this is not a conspiracy. This is real to me. I am gay and as much as you see it differently, this is my life. It’s not a conspiracy. It’s my life, a life that I’m trying to make do with, because this is what has been given to me, just like yours has been given to yours.

You had said that, “Singapore society has given you space to live your lives, earn a living, and contribute to society—without discrimination or harassment.” Pastor Khong, I’ve lived with discrimination for a large part of my life. This is real. I’ve been hurt and harassed. I’ve been called names. I’ve been booed and jeered off stage and I had to learn the pieces up many times in my life. Pastor Khong, the discrimination is real. The hurt is real. There is discrimination. I’m not asking you to be nice to me. All I’m asking is to allow me to live my life, to be able to hold up my head high with respect and not to have to walk in fear and in sadness, because of how battered I have to feel when my dignity is taken away from me.

You say that, “we will not let LGBTs set the tone for society.” Who will then speak up for me? Who will then allow me to live my life? Where do I belong in this society then, if I do not find a way to let others, like you, know that all I’m hoping for is to live my life, to be my own person and to be someone that I can be proud of, like you are of yourself. That is all, Pastor Khong.

I want to be able to live my life.


63 thoughts on “Pastor Khong: I Only Want to Be Able to Live My Life

  1. Pingback: Pastor Khong: I Only Want to Be Able to Live My Life | The Heart Truths

    • asc says:

      please understand that, as concerned citizens of Singapore and as Christians, we are NOT against the homosexual person, but we are unapologetically against the homosexual agenda. And that makes a world of difference.”

      • Hi asc,

        This is precisely it – I don’t even know what my homosexual agenda is. In fact, none of us gay people know what the homosexual agenda is.

        It’s the first time we have ever heard about the ‘homosexual agenda’. Because we’ve never lived by this. We don’t have an agenda. We just want to live our lives.

        This term, the ‘homosexual agenda’ isn’t created by gay people. It’s created by the pastor. Now, the question is, why did he (and those who align) create the idea, the ‘homosexual agenda’?

        Why did he and some people create the ‘agenda’, become fearful of the ‘agenda’, go against the ‘agenda’ and fight against the ‘agenda’, when all the time, this ‘agenda’ was created by you, you live within an ‘agenda’ that you’ve created and make it real, and fight against it – you are essentially fighting against yourself – You.

        And no other gay person are involved in this cycle that you create and perpetuate.

        We are really confused when you say we have a ‘homosexual agenda’. This ‘homosexual agenda was created by you, out of our own fear, which you then transpose on us, and want us to live by it.

        But we do not want to live by any agenda. We only want to live our lives, just like you are living yours.

        The question you need to ask is, if the ‘homosexual agenda’ wasn’t created by gay people, but by people who are not gay and fear the gay people, then what are you fearing?

        What do you fear about the ‘homosexual person’ which you say you are not against, but fear? And why do you fear?

        Why not reach out to understand? Because I’m willing to reach out.

        Thank you


  2. Kelvin says:

    Its a shame that someone with the power and influence of a religion should use it to condemn another. Rather than saying you have a homosexual agenda, I think the pastor has a “Anti-Gay” agenda. There should be laws against such discrimination. But on my opinion, though-leaders have the moral obligation to fight discrimination or at the very least not promote it.

    I can feel your pain and struggles even though I’m straight. You do not need permission from another person to live your life!

  3. Katie Ho says:

    If not allowed to discriminate against races, also must not discriminate against gays and lesbians. Should not mix religion with politics. Where is PM Lee?

    • Vincent Ho says:

      He busy at Pongol East. He cannot multi-task. Just like someone who cannot eat chewing gum and walk at the same time. By the way, what a Homo-agenda. Make everyone homo?

  4. Sean says:

    Ps Khong’s tactic is so reminiscent of that of the American right wing. When you find yourself losing a voice in society, blame it all on The Enemy. We all know that there is no homosexual agenda, but the megachurch agenda is almost well and struggling to stay alive. If in doubt, ask any former FCBC members burned out and disillusioned by our magic trick-wielding clergy.

  5. mic o mic says:

    If you choose to go about without deodorant and both arms in the air, don’t complain that people are avoiding you and discriminating against your right to flaunt your armpits.

  6. Alan says:

    Of all people, it is really a shame that a Pastor would steep so low to discriminate & condemn other people just because these people do not suscribe to a lifestyle expected from the Pastor’s pratising religion ?

    Who is he to tell the Govt that if the law for 377A is repealed, people like me outside of his religious faith will likely destroy the family unit ?

    Then how about Christian evangelists who are hell bound to breakdown tradional family units by going around and telling their new converts not to follow their family’s traditional Taoist/Buddhist practices and break away or disown the families if necessary ?

    When is their hatred for basic humanity going to end ?

  7. qwiddity says:

    “Our contemptible species is so made that those who walk on a commonly used path are sure to throw stones at those who are displaying a new road.”
    — Voltaire (1694-1778), a French writer and philosopher.

    It is both sad and tragic when people who tread the beaten path attempt to rob the dignity of those blazing their own trail. It is tragic when those sad people make misguided efforts to force others back to what they consider the ‘good’ path; out of their terrible misunderstanding of the human condition. Indeed of the mammalian condition, as homosexuality exists throughout higher-order mammalian species in the animal kingdom)

    Because of this, in order to tread the beaten path one must be brave. Brave enough to ignore threats made of wilful ignorance. Brave enough to hold their heads high and experience self-respect despite their detractors, which will be far many than those whose way of life is already sanctioned by society.

    Brave enough to go their way despite fear, and in sadness, on their own. Their strength of character comes from within, though they are battered with threats to their dignity. Such strength and bravery dwarfs that of those who are allowed to persist with poor reasoning within organised institutions! Such wild bravery arises from already strong feelings, and a willingness to apply themselves to their inner natures. They are far stronger than those who merely throw stones from within their glass houses.

    This despicable vitriolic rhetoric of hate, this denial of human nature, ends. It is a system poorly designed in working against entropy as it is exclusive rather than inclusive. Forgive the passionate defence of their beliefs providing they change quickly to bring their values into alignment with true goodness. Their profession of values such as: acceptance, openness, freedom, tolerance, kindness, and love must include all good people.

    Whatever your gender, sexuality, race, age, religion, politics, or other values–all good people deserve the best opportunity possible to indiscriminately live whatever life they choose. Nothing else is

  8. qwiddity says:

    … acceptable. 🙂
    May the struggle of your worthy cause be extremely short and easily-won! If you need any help I can provide over the Internet please let me know.

  9. Fairuz says:

    I am a religious Muslim man. And like the bible and its old testament, the quran too has passages which frown upon homosexuality. But Islam in Singapore is not like Christianity – while we do not advocate homosexual acts, we don’t seek to impose it across the whole nation. Why should we? As such, I simply cannot understand this pastor’s words and actions as nothing less than an attempt to christianise our neutral and secular state.

    Yes, I am not fond of the idea of seeing two men kissing in front of me, but still, it does not affect me, my family or my religion in any way. I have my right to practice my religion, you have your right to be with who you want to be. And as Islam teaches me, I respect you as a person.

    May you find peace my dear brother in humanity.

    • Marcus says:

      I believe the gist of the Pastor’s reply is that he still continues to respect a homosexual as a person and out of Christian love, but he cannot stand for their public “agenda”, which comes in the 5 steps which he mentioned.

      Now the question, of course, is whether this “homosexual agenda” really exists. In other words, is there a unified group of people behind the scenes slowly lobbying and pressuring for homosexual rights, until Step 5 is achieved (ie. full recognition of homosexual parenthood rights)? Is this purported group subtly influencing social values and opinions thus making it favourable for the passage of pro-homosexual legislation?

      It seems to me to be an extremely nebulous concept. Of course the Pastor can point to people like this article’s author, as well as Pinkdot and other such gatherings, as proof of the existence of the homosexual agenda. These indications are simply confirming, what he has already in his mind concluded, that it exists.

      More detached observers like you and me will naturally see things otherwise.

  10. Pingback: On 377A: It’s never moral to use force and coercion | the kent ridge common

  11. I can see the reply from Roy is still trying to hide behind his right to live anyway he wishes even though it would hurt the society by claiming his suffering as a gay child. However, being gay is a choice. If Roy has chosen to be gay since childhood, then he got to live with the suffering. Now as an adult, if he so chooses to continue to live his life as a gay and wanted to have sex as a man with another man, then he must understand the need to suffer more as well. He can always choose not to be gay or be celibate. He clearly have a political agenda as he stated clearly he wanted to help others like him. That is a political agenda. Just like what his website said he just wanted to have a right to love is actually his desire to want as a man to have homosexual sex with another man. There is absolutely no reason for anyone to have sex with anyone so that they can love another one. All Roy wanted is to have sex with another man. And he wanted to increase the pool of such men so that he can do have homosexual sex with more men to choose from by using his website as a front to do it. Roy need to be honest with himself and the readers at his website. Roy, if you really want to love another human being, go give to charity or serve the really unfortunate like the poor and handicapped and expect nothing in return as many have. Don’t try to show yourself to be a saint or as a great lover of man kind which instead, you just want to have homosexual sex as a man with another man. Period.

    • Hi,

      Like I’ve said in another post, I cannot change how you think nor do I want to. That’s a personal journey that you go through for yourself.

      I do not have any want except to lead a happier and more peaceful life. And that’s what I’m hope to do better and better in, in my life.

      I thank you for your sharing and your beliefs, but I do not share them. I simply live a different life from the one that you live. I would invite you to understand my life, by spending time with me and seeing how I actually live my life. The door is open and I welcome you to journey with me.

      Nonetheless, we are all humans in the same path towards learning and accepting ourselves, so that we could give that to others and help in others to live happier lives.

      I thank you for your intention in wanting to share what you’ve learnt with me. Yet, what I’ve learnt as well might not be similar. Perhaps we could understand that we want the same thing in life – happiness and truth – but the journeys we take are different, for that’s why we are born in different bodies 🙂



      • First you deny you have a political agenda, but actually you have. You claim only you know what it is to be gay but don’t care that your homosexual behavior is hurting the family values or the society at large. You just want to have your way as a gay even though you know it is unnatural.

        If you really want to love another person, male or female, please do so. Just no need to have sex with that person. That is call desire. You should control your desire. Just like many normal persons can control their desires to do so. If you wish to have homosexual sex with another man, then please state so in your website, don’t try to hide it by saying it is your right to love. Right to love and right to to have sex is completely two different matters. Be honest with yourself and with your readers.

        Just like be honest with Paster Khong that you have a political agenda to help others and is working towards it. Don’t try to say one thing but actually you are doing another.

        Being wanting to be gay is your right, but be honest and accept being gay is a sexual choice and is not about the right to love.

  12. Hi Roy,

    I am not tying to tell you how you should love or live your life.

    I just hope you can be honest with yourself that all you wanted is to have homosexual sex with another man. Nothing more. Be honest.

  13. It is just for me to say it suffice. Just change your website that you want to have the right to have homosexual sex with another man. Just that you want the right to love another person. Since you are making blog about it, you should be honest and let your readers decide. Not hide behind the right to love.

  14. It is not just for me to say it suffice. Just change your website that you want to have the right to have homosexual sex with another man. You should clearly state that it is not that you want the right to love another person but actually want to gave homosexual sex. Since you are making blog about it, you should be honest and let your readers decide. Not hide behind the right to love. That then should suffice.

    • Hi,


      I will allow you to think what you would would, for we take very different stances on this issue 🙂

      Basically, it stems from us being in different bodies, living in different lives and thus having different worldviews.

      Of course, can we find a commonality in our perspectives? Our belief stems from being true to ourselves and being honest and I think that’s what we want for one another and for ourselves.

      I think as long as we continue to seek the truth and alignment to ourselves, we would continue to do better as people.

      And I believe the both of us will continue in our quest for the truth and an honesty to ourselves. 🙂


  15. As long as you stated in your website that you want the right to love, you are living in a lie. You should change your website that you wish to have the right to have homosexual sex with man. That is really what you want. Just be honest with yourself.

  16. Again you try to hide from yourself by saying we have different bodies or views. I agree we may have different views or bodies but you are not being honest. You still do not want to admit that you just want to have homosexual sex with men. You also did not dispute the fact that you do want to have homosexual sex with men. How you can continue to live with yourself, I do not know. But you should start now and be honest about it.

  17. Hi Roy,

    You are not being honest again by stating you do love. If you want to say you do want to love, then also indicate that your love also include homosexual sex. Be honest, don’t hide behind words that have no meaning by itself.

  18. Hi Roy,

    You are the one writing a blog declaring to the world that you want the right to love. Now I asking to indicate that that right to love you so profess about include homosexual sex.

    So what does that got to do with me? So what is there for be to be honest about? I am simply asking you to be honest with yourself, now you ask me back. Did I set up a Blog about myself and asking you to comment on it?

    Since you set up this blog in public domain for public comment, you have the responsibility to accept comments from the public and reply accordingly and let the public decide if you are really honest about it. Therefore it is not about me. But it is about you if you are honest about yourself wanting to have homosexual sex.

  19. You say you cannot admit that which is not true. However you are not able to put up a good defense on it from your reply. This showed you just want to avoid the real reason that you are wanting to give in to your homosexual tendencies instead of doing something about it by portraying yourself as a victim in the process with self pity. Please do get some help to straight yourself up as many have. Again, you can don’t get help and continue with your homosexual activity as many have. But don’t say you want the right to love or our society didn’t give you the right to love. You should therefore indicate that the right to love in your website include homosexual sex. Be honest with yourself.

      • I don’t have a blog about myself or about anyone sexual orientation. In any case, I don’t have the blog anymore and the blog I set up was for commercial purposes.

        Since it is your blog that need to reply, please reply through your own blog to defence yourself truthfully. Don’t hide at another person blog. Just state your right to love include homosexual sex. Simple. Right?

      • Lol. I wasn’t intending to reply about my sexual orientation on your blog. I wanted to know what it was. Thanks for clarifying.


        Here, if you are interested and are nearby, I welcome you to have a chat with me. We could have a chat over tea or coffee, and have a better understanding of our ideas.

        Or we could have a video chat – what would be comfortable for you.

        As I’ve said, we have different lives and different understandings of things. We can choose to see differences or similarities and like I’ve said, I believe we are both in pursuit of the truth and honesty.

        As it is, we might believe in different paths towards this pursuit but I would rather be happy that we are both on this journey, rather than be discontented that you are not on my journey or that I am not on yours, for that would be too ego-biased and that which in its hegemonic point of view is not what is of interest to me.


  20. Hi Roy,

    There is no need for us to meet as there is no purpose to do so since we can exchange our views here.

    Again, it is not that I object your choice of your way of life. Simply that you need to be honest with yourself and your readers in your website that you want the right to love that include homosexual sex. That is all. Be honest.

    • 🙂

      I am honest about my love, but you choose to deny my honesty.

      It is not that I’m not honest but that you deny my honesty.

      For you believe that your honesty is more worthy than mine, and your love, more worthy than mine.

      Is it then a question of honesty? For as long as you see mine as lesser than yours, my honesty and love will never mean itself to you.



  21. Hi Roy,

    You are the one wanting the right to love in your website. So I simply ask you to indicate that your right to love include homosexual sex and that you should be honest with yourself and your readers that you want the right to have homosexual sex.

    But you are running away from this by stating something else. You choose to be a homosexual but do not want to declare that you just wanted homosexual sex with it.

    So be honest to say you want homosexual sex or you just want to be able to love and not homosexual sex. Be honest.

  22. Hi Roy,

    Since you wrote this blog that you have a right to love, you should define whether your right to love include homosexual sex or not. What does my definition of love has anything to do with it? You declare in a public domain blog, you want the right to love, then define what that love is and if it include homosexual sex. Be honest, don’t to beat around the bush. You have the gut to set up a blog to say you want the right to love but no gut to state your love include homosexual sex? Why is that? What is your hidden agenda? If you say you don’t have a hidden agenda, then say you want homosexual sex. Don’t lie to yourself and to your readers.

    • Ahh…

      Love – I would love to be able to share my life with my partner and to be able to be there for him, to provide support and encouragement for him.

      It’s my dream to be with someone whom I can share my future with, with whom we have a similar vision of life with and with whom we can work together towards this future with.

      Wouldn’t it be beautiful to know that someone is there for you, who would always be there to let you know that everything will be ok?

      What do you think? 🙂


  23. Hi Roy,

    I believe that is not all but include homosexual sex. So indicate in your website that you wanted this right to love and have homosexual sex with men. So please change your website from “My right to love” to “My right to homosexual Sex” or “My right to be Gay” for this is your true agenda. Not just your right to love. Be honest. Don’t live with a lie behind some other political agenda.

  24. Again you tried to showed you are the victim here. No one denying you anything except you are denying the truth that all you wanted is homosexual sex with that love you call. So why don’t you just say it? What are you afraid about?

    • qwiddity says:

      xdenniskellyx: “You just want to have your way as a gay even though you know it is unnatural.”

      That’s completely wrong. Learn more natural philosophy.

      Also, my troll-scouter reads over NINE THOUSAAAAND!

      • Hi qwiddity,

        It was two centuries ago when slaves were still seen as non-humans. It was a few decades ago where women were seen as lesser than men and did not even own their marriage. Women were seen as property of men and didn’t have their rights or even vote.

        It was only a few decades ago when Blacks were finally respected as fellow human beings, where Blacks could be recognized in equal marriages. During World War Two, millions of Jews were prosecuted simply for having different religious beliefs. And today, Muslims feel misunderstood as well.

        Around the world, there continues to be discrimination heaped against others, simply because of some of us who feel that we are better than others.

        The natural philosophy of humankind, unfortunately, has been one of self protection – as long as we feel vulnerable, we will continue to subjugate the rights of others, this be it from my perspective or from yours. Yet again, who is to say what is right?

        But decades on, your children, our children, we would live in a different world, as the women of fore and Blacks or fore, and of Jews of fore who had, who had suffered under misunderstandings to one day, be understood as individuals who simply want to be respected as people. Don’t we all?

        Do I yearn for acceptance? I do, for I hope to be respected. Yet, don’t we all. Though it seems that it’s a zero-sum game, that if I gain my acceptance that it seems like you will lose yours. But life isn’t a zero-sum game. If I gain mine, you will continue to have yours. And so will I. We will all be better off together. The history of the civil rights movement for women and people of different colours have shown this. One day, humanity will be better off when we are able to live together, where we would be able to look beyond our own wants to identify and unite with the human condition – whether we are man, woman, black, white, Chinese, Malay, Indian, any other colour, young, old, gay, straight, bisexual, transgender, disabled or abled.

        One day, we will look back at this page and wondered why we had to go through this struggle, you against me, me against you or us against one another. But why? For we continue to feel vulnerable and insecure. Though within it all, is an acceptance. For when when we find acceptance of ourselves, we will learn to accept one another – and this is for everyone.

        I will continue to live my life and hold my head up high. I will continue to love who I love because this is my life. In this time and era, I might be judged and discriminated. But that is my life to live. For one days the struggles that I and we go through will only enrich our children in magnitudes many times our understandings.

        Meanwhile, we would continue with decades of struggle, before we learn to respect one another again, as women had to, as blacks had to, as all of people have to.

        We are here in life, to learn to be one. Yet before we achieve oneness, we will need to learn differences, judgment and one day, unify with the human condition – you and I.

        But for now, we will continue in our exchanges for only through this will our knowledge and understanding be exchanged, enriched and enhanced on. And one day, we will learn.


  25. Roy,

    You still wanted to hide behind your agenda and still want to be dishonest with yourself and that all you wanted is to have homosexual sex with men and it is not that you want the right to love which no one is preventing you from that.

    • qwiddity says:

      I get the feeling I wasn’t making myself clear.

      You are ‘trolling’, xdenniskellyx. Anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows this. When I read what you’re writing I wonder to myself what year this is, and what planet I’m on. You seem to possess a particularly poor understanding of biology, and are applying equally poor reasoning (in this case a straw man argument of claiming someone is asserting something entirely different to what they actually are asserting). Please, cease attempting to shore up your bigoted viewpoint, by putting words in the mouths of brave people who deal with needless adversity on a daily basis.

      If you unwisely choose to support discrimination, you are refusing to support equality. If you seriously believe to unnecessarily discriminate against good people leading their lives the way they choose is the correct thing to do; you’re being an immature fool who lacks a decent understanding of society’s true potential.

      Also, in my previous comment I made the erroneous statement of “in order to tread the beaten path one must be brave.” when I meant ” in order NOT to tread the beaten path one must be brave.” Roy and all, my apologies for that, I think it may have caused some confusion, leading to a lesson in history.

      Please, let me unequivocally state my support for the principle of equality, for ALL good people. Arbitrarily discriminating against portions of society simply makes less sense than supporting equality. In all circumstances, all good people deserve equality, and the best opportunity to live whatever life they choose.

      Everyone benefits most when everyone benefits, and that’s what equality is about! A more robust system, allowing everyone a more equal footing from which to pursue happiness. It’s better for everyone, so it’s better for society, the rule of law, governance, the economy, and it’s such a damnably simple concept I struggle to understand why people are reticent to accept it.

      Fools will be fools, I guess. At least until other people call them out for their foolishness for the good of humanity.

      • Dear qwiddity,

        I am so sorry for my having misunderstood your comment and intentions. I should have read your comment clearly before I commented!

        Thank you for clarifying and the support.

        Funnily, I could use that short commentary on the “lesson on history” to share this posting on my Facebook again, to generate discussion.


  26. Roy,

    If you still not want to come out and state your real intention is, you will never get what wanted. That is because, your website indicated that you wanted the right to love from your domain name to the long essay as if you lack that right. However, no one denied you any such right for you to love. You got to be honest with yourself and with your readers what you really wanted so that you can get the help you need and what you really wanted. So just come out and state your real needs. It is definitely not your right to love.

    • qwiddity says:

      xdenniskellyx, I think you need to come out and state your real feelings. You’re obviously just cheesed off because Roy registered before you could, and you can’t think of anything better to use for your grindr clone. 😛

  27. My real intention is very simple. I like to know if Roy got any problem in his right to love in the country that he is living in. If not why he set up a website about it. If yes, what is preventing his right to love? Is love banned in Singapore for him?

    • qwiddity says:

      I’ll try to explain what I think this is about. Allowing homosexual people to marry is about improving the concept of equity (fairness) as enshrined in law.

      Roy is advancing an argument that people of particular sexual orientation are being unnecessarily discriminated against, because the Singaporean government denies this entire set of people marriage contracts.

      People feel this to be needlessly unfair, since they wish to enjoy the best possible expression of their relationships. Including the public and legal recognition of marriage contracts.

      Relationships alone can be an insufficient expression of love for many people. It remains both unethical, and near-impossible to police peoples relationships. Therefore, a good solution is to accept society is mature and stable enough to allow marriage equality spanning groups of sexual orientation.

      This requires enacting new legislation, which is a little more daunting than creating a website. 🙂

  28. Laoba says:

    Do you know why there is no law against the lesbians? It is because as long as we males carry that lethal weapon ‘gun’ in Singapore, then we are to use it responsibly. Simple as that. We parents don’t want to have to worry about sending our already highly driven testosterone sons to schools that educates (entice) them about gay sex, or worry about them going off to NS. Just as there are good people and gays, there are also bad ones who seek to use it to do significant damage to society, gay or not. So where appropriate, the law should be enforced to protect the community’s interest and see that people behave and do not cross the line. I doubt anyone would bother to barge into your bedroom and invade your privacy in order to condemn you. I am not against the gay community. What you do is your business, just don’t influence our children.

    • LOL. Tu quoque? Poor reasoning.

      “What you do is your business, just don’t influence our children.”

      You sound like the Russian minister Stephen Fry interviewed on “Out There” introduced nebulous, oppressive, ridiculous legislation declaring the “promotion of homosexuality” illegal, and his justification was something about angels falling to earth!

      NOBODY is going to do what you suggest (influence children to be gay)!

      What they MIGHT do, however, is offer SUPPORT to those who are already out of the closet as gay, their parents, and friends. It is OKAY to be gay, and saying “It’s okay for you to be gay, but don’t make my children gay!” is homophobic and silly, and if you’re invested in such a sub-par view of consensual reality there’s probably little point in arguing with you directly; but every reason to tout your pointless argument as a reason to consign discrimination and segregation to the history books using parliamentary legislative process which can be upheld in courts of law.

      It’s all about anti-discrimination and equality of opportunity, and I’ll keep repeating the following statement until it’s well understood by everyone:

      All GOOD PEOPLE deserve an equal opportunity to pursue happiness; to live the lives they choose–because everyone benefits MOST when EVERYONE benefits!

    • qwiddity says:

      Dear Roy, please, if you want to, feel free to use anything I write on this topic however you wish in order to support this cause and your fight for equality. 🙂

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